


Meat without a soul

by Anonymous



Category: supermega
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Songfic, i'm very burnt out so sorry if this sucks honestly, they're dating but ryan's a shitty bf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:55:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29852880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: I love feelin' painMakes me feel like I'm going to heaven
Kudos: 1
Collections: Anonymous





	Meat without a soul

**Author's Note:**

> [inspiration](https://blackdresses.bandcamp.com/track/heaven)

Matt sat on the edge of Ryan's bed, rubbing his wrist with his free hand to give himself a false sense of comfort. He winces at the sounds of screaming from downstairs outside of the raven haired teen's room.

Matt was definitely used to the screaming matches between Ryan and his step-dad, but sometimes they were just overwhelming to him— and this was one of those moments.

The sound of glass breaking made the blond jolt, it was followed by another scream then the sound of a door slamming. Matt sighed, continuing to rub his wrist until the sounds of heavy footsteps took all of his attention.

Ryan opened the door, not bothering to look at the younger teen as he made his way to the bed beside him. Matt hummed softly when he felt the bed sink from Ryan's weight.

Matt knew that he wouldn't want to talk about it so the two sat in uncomfortable silence. The blond was also used to this after Ryan's been in fights; either with him or his step-dad, he felt sad that he probably didn't know how to process his emotions. Rebelling against authority and getting into deep shit at times.

His body shuddered when he suddenly felt Ryan pull him onto his lap, rubbing his hands up and down Matt's waist. Matt grimaced, feeling sore from the places that Ryan was a little too rough with him at.

He then gasped once he felt a sharp pain in his back followed by immense stinging. He turned his head around to Ryan holding a small piece of broken glass, now semi covered in crimson. 

God it hurt.

Matt frowned while Ryan kept the same neutral expression, playing with the glass between his fingers and spreading the blood onto them.

 _"another spot to cover"_ matt mumbled to himself, his body was already almost completely covered in bandages, he hated being constantly asked by his mom if he was harming himself. 

he _was_ but not in the areas that she had seen, not that she needed to know anyways. 

The stinging came back as the glass made contact with his skin again. Ryan held him down with a free hand as Matt's body squirmed in pain. His small whimpers and cries ignored by the older teen (as usual).

Eventually the stinging stopped and was replaced with a burning sensation. Ryan wiped the blood onto his bedsheets as Matt moved off of his lap, writhing in pain.

His voice was small, which was completely unintentional. "What did you do to my back?" 

Ryan was silent, pulling out his phone from his sweats before repositioning himself behind of the blond. Matt was confused but didn't ask questions until Ryan was seated next to him again, holding his phone up so Matt could see what was on it.

The picture was of his back, now dripping blood with the word 'ryan' marked into it on his lower back. Matt looked up to see Ryan smiling in what seemed like joy at his creation. 

Matt felt sick and tired as Ryan gently dabbed a wet rag against his back. His body jerked away before his brain could even process it, which resulted in him being reprimanded by ~~his boyfriend~~ Ryan.

Ryan means well and Matt knows it, he knew that Ryan just had to let his frustrations out at time and Matt was just always conveniently there. Honestly, he was never _not_ around Ryan. It was laughable how he followed him around almost like a lost, sick puppy, and maybe he _was_ just Ryan's puppy, just waiting to be told what to do and be by his side.

Ryan wasn't always like this, he texted the blond every day to make sure that he took his medications for the day. It made Matt's heart flutter by how much he cared about him– and if it meant that he had to deal with a ~~lot~~ little pain to have those small moments, he would just have to power through them.

He smiled when he felt Ryan's lips finally replace the feeling of the rag. He almost laughed at the risk of an infection from not having his cuts properly cleaned since the older teen only used water to clean the excess blood away. He knew that he'd be too tired to clean them himself when he eventually went home, hoping that his future self will remember to clean them when he gets the chance.

Matt obviously didn't take good care of himself, maybe that's why Ryan did things like this to him. To treat him well and show him how special he was. 

Whatever it was, Matt didn't want to think about it any longer. He leaned into Ryan's touch, tucking himself under the raven's jaw. Ryan hummed softly before putting his arm around Matt's waist to pull him in closer. 

A soft ' _I'm sorry._ _'_ fell from Ryan's lips, he was sure that he wouldn't be able to hear it if he wasn't currently under him. 

"It's okay," tumbled from his lips quickly, Matt was always repeating that phrase; it felt like a mantra at this point.

Ryan reached up and began to stroke Matt's hair. He knew that touch was Matt's love language and on cue, the younger teen was melting into his touch.

"It's cute how soft you get whenever I touch you." Ryan chuckled and Matt's face heated from embarrassment, pulling away from Ryan immediately.

He guessed Ryan didn't think much about it since he didn't say anything about the blond moving away from him, opting to just scroll on his phone instead of striking another conversation. 

Ryan was probably getting tired of Matt being clingy towards him, his statement possibly oozing in sarcasm that the younger teen didn't understand and catch onto.

Matt hated the overwhelming silence, Ryan still scrolling through his phone almost as if Matt wasn't even there. The blond was too scared to initiate the conversation first so he went back to mindlessly rubbing his wrist, almost feeling the ghostings of Ryan's hand squeezing it as hard as he could.

Matt was small, defenseless against Ryan. Maybe that's why he loved taking out his 'emotions' on Matt instead of talking to a therapist like a normal sane person.

Maybe it was just what he was used to from seeing his parents interact with each other; he would never know– but he was grateful that Ryan always took care of him no matter what damage he did to him.


End file.
